PROLOGUE:
He was chasing me. His hideous course
flattened my heart.
Two o’ clock in night, I was returning
from an office party. A silhouette tramped my blotch on the gray road. I
pierced my way in a dark alley, drawing me out of his vision. Like my shadow,
he knew where I went. My odor appeared to be a foe.
When I arrested my gait, he
ceased to tramp, staring with ghastly eyes.
In terror, in quiet, I gazed at him, outlining
his eyes and intention. There was an inexplicable power snatching my judgments.
Those eyes glinted. A scent passed through all the remoteness. I stood there. Fascinated,
captivated, reciting him, and then bowed to elope with ample steps. He hunted
me with concentration, stopping me, provoking me to glue to my position.
My heart failed to spot beats. I took
notice of his strong feet, overtaking mine. He came up to me. I didn’t approve
it. I expected him to leave me. My heart pulverized with thuds. I couldn’t return
his ogle. An extreme stare made me look away; pushed me to flee. He reminded me
how frail I was. I couldn’t stand.
I looked at him, and tried to make my way from
his side. He raised his hands to stop me. I didn’t care. I tried breaking out
despite his attempt. But, he held my hands. I tried escaping from his grip. I
was choking and petrified by his madness. His grasp on my wrist was so tight
that my blue bracelet broke into shards and cut his palms. But he stared powerfully
at me, his eyes more determined than before. He left my hands and pulled me
close. I closed my eyes, and hit on his stomach trying to flee, but he was so
captivating that all my attempts went in vain. I wept, and shouted, asking him
to leave me. He put his hands on my mouth subduing the noise I made. His hands embraced
me tightly denying me any chance to escape. I was terrified and made all
possible attempts to elope. I knew he wasn’t going to leave me. He had been
following me since days; he wasn’t going to let go of me so easily. He smelled of
some strong aftershave. I stared at his eyes with tears in mine. He looked in
my eyes. I was trying with all might to escape, but he was there with me as
substantially as I was not even there. He overpowered my presence entirely. Like
a baby I was throwing my hands. He was not even swaying, standing sternly.
Finally I gave up and submerged my face in his bosom.
‘Let me go please’ I wept as I
said.
He looked at me with tears in his
eyes.
‘I love you’ he spoke sternly and
clearly. I calmly rested my head on his chest. Weeping and wiping my tears in
his shirt. He held my hands, and started wiping my tears with his hands.
‘I love you’ he said again more
gently.
I raised my head to look at his face. I didn’t know what to say. I knew
I couldn’t escape. I knew he loved me. I knew I loved him. I wanted to run away
from him. But, secretly I wanted to hold him even more tightly, so that I could
not breathe in his embrace. He loved me, like I never imagined anyone would. He
made me complete like I never thought anyone would. His breath, his smell, his
eyes and whenever he held my hands, it made me loose all the sanity I had. I
had surrendered myself totally to him. I couldn’t bear his distance from me. He
made me mad; mad for him. I never thought anybody would come in my life,
bounding me to forget myself. I always thought it was never meant to be. It was
just in stories or movies that people fell in love like that. The way he
protected me, from the eyes of the world, holding my insecurities, granting me
love, gifting me madness, till I reached the point of obsession.
‘Please leave me’ I spoke my face
hidden in his shirt
My voice directly hit his heart. His
face was shaven and smelled of some after shave. He gleamed with aura reflecting with the
light. I put my hands to feel his face. His face was moist with tears. My heart
pained, I held myself to control the pain, and I knew I loved him; but this
madly, why. He put his hand on my heart, and mine on his. A pulse travelled
between our hearts. He completed me, I completed him.
For a moment I forgot everything.
His lowered his face shadowing mine. I closed his eyes. My eyes were burning. With
swollen heart his eyes said everything I never wanted to accept. His face came
near mine and I felt his warm breath questioning me. I stood there stern,
denying him any possibility of coming closer to me. He opened his eyes with
tears in them. I shut mine in anticipation. He pushed me away with a jerk, and
moved two steps back. I knew I loved and wanted him as much as he did, but I
knew I didn’t deserve him. I was scared not of him, but of my own convictions.
He made me mad for myself. His black eyes and strong grip shook me inside out
whenever he held me. But I could never pour my heart to him.
He was far better than what I dreamed of, I didn’t deserve him. Whenever I was alone, I told this to
myself repeatedly. The moment I saw him the first time, I knew he was dangerous for me. I stalked him, while he stalked me. I never showed him the madness I had for him. I wanted to hear that he loved me, that he was mine. I prayed for it. But when he actually expressed his heart, I couldn’t take it.
My madness reached the point of paranoia, when I saw him with a girl. They were having tea, and discussing something. Gautam was smiling at her. I passed from his side, making sure he notices me, but also making sure, I ignore him completely, going forward talking to another guy. Acting by my gestures, ‘I don’t love you’ there are lot many more to be interested in.
But the truth was whichever day I didn’t see him, I died in agony. I knew I loved him. A small glimpse of his made me mad; he was handsome far more in my eyes. I could not be pulled back; I knew I was in love when he looked at me
